No More Incumbents Presidential Race

Two weeks ago presidential candidate Joe Biden (D-DE) appeared on the Tonight Show to shoot the breeze, do a little crowd work, and, oh yeah, articulate his solution to the bloody quagmire in Iraq. Before delving into the esoteric nature of this plan, Joe Biden played along with Jay with apparent ease, much to the pleasure the audience (although I’m sure his spring break crowd was still high from the Ferrel appearance). Once again, the foreign policy guru demonstrated his remarkable expertise on the subject by reiterating some of the finer points of his Iraq Plan. Biden’s transition into to talking seriously about Iraq, however, was more awkward than catching your parents ‘doing the nasty’, given the flippant mood of the audience following the absurdist Ferell appearance. Kudos to Biden!

Now, onto the GOP Bloodbath!

Watching this year’s republican candidates jockey for GOP support is going to be like watching hemophiliacs juggle chainsaws. In any highly contested Republican presidential primary, the opposing campaigns will ineluctably go besmirching each other as closet-fags, fetus-haters, or gun hating nancies. Interestingly enough, they really won’t be lying. If one thing is for sure, it’s that you’ll be seeing Guiliani and Romney flip-flops selling like swift boats. Guiliani leads the pack with two: partial-birth abortion and gun control. However, I’m absolutely positive that a certain Kerik will be his ultimate demise.

McCain, although minimal in ideological importance, once denounced the Bush tax cuts only to now pledge to uphold them. Let’s not forget the little touchy-feely on his part of one time ‘agent of intolerance’ Jerry Fallwell. As far as party loyalty, both Romney and Guiliani broke their party ranks at one time to support democratic candidates (Guiliani with Mario Cuomo and Romney with Paul Tsongas). McCain is a much harder case, as he’s more bipartisan than Anne Heche. Over the years McCain has pursued an agenda that at times stands in direct opposition to the core beliefs of his party. For example, McCain cosponsored a bill on campaign finance reform, legislation to allow imported prescriptions, higher automotive emissions standards (Kyoto-friendly), and a piece that is surely to eliminate the gun show loophole. In 2001 he went so far as to consider a party switch, after meeting with Tom Daschle and other top democratic lawmakers. So the question for the GOP is how far are they willing to go to beat Hillary. I wouldn’t be surprised if they choose McCain.

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It seems Senator Joe Biden is preparing for an all-important campaign stop. Can you guess what it is? It starts with Jay and rhymes with Leno. Give up? According to News journal–a local publication in Biden’s home state–Sen. Biden has agreed to appear on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno this Thursday. You’re probably thinking, “So did Governor Vilsack and now he’s appearing on VH1’s ‘Where are they now.’ Notwithstanding, the veteran senator from the little, unknown state of Delaware will hopefully have a much better outcome–given his enormous stature in the Senate.

Superficial and insignificant to the process though it may be, the fact is we live in a society that judges the strength and capability of its presidential contenders on how they portray themselves on television. Can you say Richard Nixon? Despite having a vast wealth of experience over his democratic rival, Richard Nixon’s painfully awkward demeanor during the first televised debate turned him into an overnight chagrined laughingstock–although he did pick up a major endorsement from anti-perspirant deodorant. Let’s just say that man sweated like a polar bear in a Turkish bath.

So, on a show that attracts 5.7 million viewers, it will be a huge opportunity for the senator to speak to a real cross section of Americans, who aren’t necessarily following the campaign. Biden will venture his way to Burbank, California immediately following a stop in Carson City, Nev., Wednesday to meet with top state labor leaders and party activists.

http://www.joebiden.com/

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One doesn’t have to dig hard to discover that the upcoming election is already being decided. Whether it’s Google or you tube, our personal privacy is more exposed than Tara Reid’s boob on the red carpet. So it’s not without precedent that our politicians are photogenic, downloadable rock stars–even if their foreign policy experience consists of a campaign stop at the International House of Pancakes. It doesn’t matter if they’ve consistently challenged an unworkable and disastrous foreign policy by offering sound alternatives and imaginative ideas of their very own, just as long as they’re downloadable. You know sultry, seductive photos of women in salacious positions are downloadable, but before you know it my computer has a virus and only works when I talk dirty to it. The lesson to be learned here is that while a candidate may be pretty or have unbeatable name recognition, he/she should win our affection but not our vote.

When its not covering dead rich children, dead porn stars, and people that are just plain dead inside, the media is disproportionately covering the nascent campaigns of some of the announced presidential hopefuls. Most of this coverage, however, is been given to but a few choice candidates. A day doesn’t go by when we aren’t told about Barak Obama, Hillary Clinton, and to a lesser degree, John Edwards. In keeping with democratic traditions (the little ones we have left), it’s vital that we be informed and keep abreast of presidential candidates; however, to prevent a “soup or salad” situation it’s imperative that we be given a reading of the entire menu. After all, why fill up on bread when there’s so much great food out there. Well, let’s just say food that doesn’t make you throw up at the very thought of it. So how come it’s Hilary this and Barak that? Or, Edwards this and Edwards that when the aforementioned contenders have senatorial responsibilities to attend to. How about a smidgeon of news on that Biden Guy, no?

Earlier this week Senator Joe Biden (D-DE) emphatically delivered a marvelous, poignant speech on the floor of the U.S. Senate, furiously calling on his colleagues to challenge the President on his policies on Iraq saying “every person in Congress should be saying right now: Mr. President, you’re leading us off a cliff. Stop!” This week, the Senate also voted to begin debate on the war and will consider legislation by Biden and Senator Carl Levin (D. Michigan) that would slim the mission of U.S. forces in Iraq, begin to withdraw troops and pursue a political agreement, as it‘s the only logical alternative. In fact, Biden has offered what is the most lucid and imaginative plan to date of any Democrat tailoring a paddle out of Shiite creek. http://planforiraq.com

With the primary season heating up like a frog on a hot plate, voters are increasingly raising questions about who is the most electable. A lot of Democrats know that Hillary is much too much polarizing of a figure and that she has a better shot of going to bed with Bill than capturing one Red state. Obama, although long on oratorical flair and genuinely a righteous guy, is far too inexperienced to be our leader in times of peril. (Perhaps in 2012 when the scent of Bush’s miserable failures has been successfully expunged.) That of course leaves John Edwards and a few other candidates, namely Joe Biden. So how’s about a little more news on the only man with major foreign policy experience.

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