No More Incumbents Presidential Race

Before the Dithering Decider delivered his FINAL (can’t say that enough) dismemberment of the English language to an especially outraged nation, the person eclipsing his lameduckness showed up in strategic pairs. Sens. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) and Joe Biden (D-Del.) strode into together, chatting very amiably. Although Super “clusterfuck” Tuesday hasn’t arrived, I figured I’d keep in the tradition of fast tracking the process and speculate on Hillary’s winning VP . . . should she become the nominee. Hillary Clinton’s VP could be any of the following people for the following reasons:

1. New Mexico Governor and Pres. drop out Bill Richardson-Bill’s Hispanic. Pure and Simple. Indeed, the Governor’s Hispanic roots significantly outweigh his secretarial and ceremonial posts in Bill Clinton’s administration primarily because it’s a voter bloc that both parties have desperately wooed. Since Florida is a state that one of the parties will have to carry in order to cement a victory, the selection of a Hispanic in a state that is largely inhabitated by Hispanics would augur quite nicely. After all, Hillary is the personification of expediency

2. General Wesley Clark- It is important to note that Wesley Clark was the Clinton’s original choice back in 2004 when they openly endorsed him. A Clark VP would bring national security and war and peace credentials to the ticket, which is something that Hillary desperately needs in order to appeal to the general electorate as a legitimate Commander of the Armed Forces. Also, reports show that the general has been campaigning indefatigably for Hillary

3. Joe Biden- My Homeboy! Similar in respects to Clark, whom I enormously respect, Joe Biden would bring his flawless Iraq Partition plan and diplomatic prowess. This would serve Hillary quite well in the event that McCain, the man who believes that Iraq can be governed from the center, becomes the Republican nominee.

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So John Kerry endorses Barack Obama? Is it just me or do the Democrats always seem to find defeat in the jaws of victory? At any consolation, the ascendancy of Senator Obama shows they’ve come up with new and improved strategies of losing elections. The rapid rise of the first electable African American presidential candidate and the beguiling awe he brings each and every time he addresses throngs of diverse supporters is unquestionably a story book–with or without the approval of Oprah. Seriously, one would be amiss (*cough douchebag) to discount the greatness of this guy. The innumerable amount of Americans disenchanted with the ruinous state of the country, the naird image abroad, and the cynical Washington mentality are easily enthralled and seduced by Barack’s refreshingly straightforward rhetoric. Indeed, Senator Obama’s message does transcend partisan politics: his opponents on the republican side are now using change as their stated strategy, despite the fact that it’s more of an oxymoron than anarchy.com.

On Jan. 3, corn fondlers chose Barack Obama, the feel good candidate of the year who talks of hope and change but whose specific goals upon being elected are narrowly limited to pulling out of Iraq with little regard to the repercussions to the Iraqis we devastated. For my part, Iowa’s voice is similar to that of a teenager who was just grounded on prom; they’ll do anything just to piss off their parents. Hillary Clinton of course is the parent. I think it’s great that Iowa debunked Hillary’s campaign–a campaign seen as a shoe in from when she announced it . . . in the womb. And while I realize that Joe Biden was essentially campaigning to become Hillary or Barack’s Secretary of State (hopefully VP), I’m still livid that flowery rhetoric can trump seasoned experience in both domestic and foreign affairs. Begging the question, are all Americans this dumb or just Iowans? Moreover, are we electing an Ipod or a president? Adding comity to our otherwise vitriolic public discourse and combating voter apathy, although noble and righteous, is by no means a consideration in a dangerous, ever-changing global environment

In all fairness to Senator Obama, because of the current lummox-in-chief, the standards are lower than Keith Richards’s blood count. Assuming Senator Obama can continue to ride this wave of change through the primaries, I hope that he chooses a Biden or a Richardson as his runningmate.

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